Summary: This entry is about being worn down from always showing up for everyone else. It pushes back on the idea that your value comes from being useful or available. It asks the reader to pull back, even briefly, and see what remains when they stop carrying everything.

 

Lisa

I’ve been tired for a long time.
Not the kind sleep fixes. The kind that sits in your bones.

I’m the strong one in my family. I always have been.
The one who figures it out. The one who makes a way.
I learned early not to ask for much and not to fall apart where anyone could see it.

People call me when they need something.
Money. Advice. Someone to listen.
I answer because that’s what I do. That’s who I’ve been.

If I say no, I feel guilty.
If I say yes, I feel empty.

I’ve paid for things I couldn’t afford because “they needed it.”
I’ve stayed quiet when I was hurt because I didn’t want to be a burden.
I’ve carried family weight that was never named, just expected.

Nobody ever tells me I’m doing too much.
They just assume I’ll handle it.

Sometimes I think if I stop, I’ll disappear.
Like I won’t matter unless I’m holding everything together.

I don’t know how to rest without feeling selfish.
I don’t know who I am if I’m not the strong one.

 

Mami Wata

You learned early that being needed kept you safe.
So you stayed available.
That became your role.

This isn’t strength.
It’s habit.

You are tired because you never leave your post.
Your body is still standing guard for things that are not yours.

Stop explaining yourself.
Stop rescuing people from discomfort.
Stop answering every call.

Pull back without warning.

What survives your absence is real.
What doesn’t was feeding.

 

The Last Wave

This is the truth you avoid.
You are not indispensable, you are overused.

This is what you must do now.
Be unavailable and let the story change.

This is the law of the water.
Anything that drains without return will drown when the tide pulls back.

 

' MAMI WATA SPEAKS WHEN YOU ARE READY TO HEAR WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW. '